Bad DJ excercises in relaxation...

On the floor of my work we each get a chance to command the cheap ass boombox. Right now Jorge, our "straight", but not-so-straight dressing friend from Guatamala, Has some fo the worst dance workout music playing. "Rhythm is a Dancer" Oh holy fuck. Really? So to combat the most consistent drive I have to toss the stereo and Jorge out the window, I work on the following excercise:

1) Place both hands on desk.

2) Roll neck gently around in circles to strech and relax neck muscles...

3) Do some subtle checken-necking to pick up a good sense of the steady, sexual, mind-numbing bass drum.

4) Clear all sharp objects from the table the table in front of you. Make sure not to loose your sens eof rhythm.

4) With consistent and angst filled adult ferver, Beat you head into the table in time with the bass drum of the music.

5) Repeat step five until you reach a state of unconciousness or bliss.

6) Share this exercise with others around you. It works just as well as a group activity.

Dryer Sheets, Baconography and teenage desperation

On Dryer Sheets...
A year and a half ago y friend Shannon and i went on a mgical journey downtown to find me a scent besides. Onbe that mixed with my natural sweat to bring those I want to their knees. She had originally given me Agua de Gio.A scent she said made her panties drop. But since I was angling for her, I decided to hunt for something else. When we arrived at Nordstrom's I notice right away that the perfume girl was super hot. My decision was easy. I ask her what scent she liked. She pointed me to "Uomo" by Paccini. And it was perfect. I have been wearing it ever since and have yet to get a negative comment. Though last week, it was pointed out to me that I smelled like dryer sheets. At first I felt that I had spent a litle too much on a bottle of scented water to smell like laundry. Then I realized. I love the smell of fresh laundry. And as I finished a load tonight I laid my clean clothes out on my bed and dove in. Warm cotton surrounded me with a lovely fresh scent. I wish I had more clothes or that I was smaller so I could get lost in it like a kid in a ball pit. So I think that smelling like dryer sheets is a fab compliment and I will gladly keep wearing the italian dryer sheet water.

On Baconography...
This vegetarian has been missing bacon quite a bit lately. So tonight in order to quench or semi quench my hunger, I made myself a veggie bacon burger. And there is astill much of the package back. i don't know what is next, but I am sure it will be delicious. And then I will pack my bacon urges away for another year.

On Teenage Desperation...
My nephew is going through a really hard time right now. He doesnt' see allot of options to his life anfd he is angry. Angry, Stubborn and acting much more stupid then he really is. I am one of the last adults he is talking to right now. And it isn't much of a conversation. I can only listen. Cause suggesting alternatives and options right now just doesn't seem to work. And he is sure he will end up in jail cause the world doesn't understand. Man I understand how he feel, because his situation makes me feel a little helpless as well.

And there are crushes too, but this week they are a little crushed. I will just lean back on an old crush on Chrisitna Ricci I had when she was in the John Water's movie Pecker. And Sarah who use dto work at Torefazzione. Cute and intelligent and a policy maker. And of course the late great Adrienne Shelley from Hal Hartley's Trust.

Heart,
Jeffrey

Spitting at the spits...

Wow. this was a night of crushable ladies. After an afternoon outing with a friend, i was kidnapped by Janine and nickel. And I had the most amazing conversation with a gorgious sexy redhead named Sasha(?). A social worker/femist sort with a fiery personality. Very hot and tall. i hope i see her again. i think she ended up with my info. Got a ride to the Spits show with a cute-ass punk rock/goth girl who playe djohnny Cash for me the whole way. What an easy way to win me over. Really.

At the show I saw joey, Answered some questions I had with him. I saw Kelly O who I have alway had a crush on. Janine had another fiend in a red dress. She was adorable. Really quite honestly between the punk rock girls tonight and the rockabilly girls last night. I have been in heaven. Crushes, Love and dumbfoundedness to you all. Reducing this intelligent man to cromagnun times.

the French Band was quie entertaining. And the lead singer was cute as hell. on the way out I complimented her.

The Spits blew me away and I have the sweat drenched shirt to show for iti was bouncing and shaking to every song. I recommend their show to anyone who is interested in a punk rock experience. Junt Jum and and move aroud int he first fiove rows and kiss your hearing goodbye. there will be mosshing and firecrakers and toruble to be found. Relax get used to be pushed around and enjoy yourself in a very kidlike way.

Heart,
Jeffrey

Why Why why. Oh Georgetown. This is out of control.

This large heart of mine. it is pumping again. The crushes are left and right. People simply fascinate me lately. Is it just the spring hornyness? there is some of that, but there atre just always interesting new people who wander into my life. And I thank them for that.
Tonight I was at jules Maes with Brent Amaker and the rodeo for their birthday. i was also allowed to drink. Thus i was a littel shitfaced. I dawned a sombrero and played tehano trumpet. I helped serve birthday cake while doing whiskey shots. then I spilled the birthday cake all over the monitor and stage while I was trying to stuff a piece in the guitarist's mouth.
The place was filled with super hot rockabilly chicks and for some reason I am home now and I have a shredded pair of pants on. Particularly useless if one were trying to cover the crotchall area. Dear me. The nuns would not approve. And I think I left a vehicle in Georgetown. Who is going to breakfast at Smarty Pants with me tomorrow so we can pick it up?

Heart,
Jeffrey

Pantslessness....

This last week and a half since I has returned from England have been a whirlwind. I got news from the opera. And right now I am holding a contract and schedule for the Summer production of The Flying Dutchman. Wow. i really had no idea my life would turn back this direction. seriously. i am a little bit in shock. I high school I was in every play and every musical. And when I went to college they had no music. I studied voice of the side with my favoritie opera couple Bill and Joan Winden in Olympia. They prepared me for tyrouts to get into another schoool where I was accepted. But because of love and because I could not afford the tuition and partially because I loved Evergreen, I abstained. I kept studying voice and finally I audition for graduate work. I tryed out at UW and San Fransisco State University. Neither showed any interest. So I gave up and moved into pop music where I ahev been happily ever since. And now through my debaucherous karoake lifestyle I have been given another opportuinity to sing classical music. So I will sign the contract and do what I meant to do originally. We shall see how it goes.

Until then I will try and survive this year's festival. Things are truly ramping up. All the bands are signed up and I have found fabulous designers for every poster. And if I can keep my head screwed on for the next two months I think we will raise a lot of money for this year's charity.

I went on a blind datish/meeting thing which was set up in Cambridge via Satnam. She was quite nice.

I played trumpet in a country band.

I went roller skating.

Met a psycho 50 year old man whose primary mission in life was to roller skate in all 50 states. he is getting there in a corvette.

Had drinks in the most beautifully strip mall italian joint with a woman serving us who had boufant hair that stood 6 inches off her head. Lovely.

Then to party. Where I continued the whiskey and dancing. And had dangerous conversation.
My heart was beating fast. It beats fast now thinking about it.

Mouth is shut. Eyes are open. Action.

UK day 3-4

I often worry about wearing out my stay on vacation. Byron and Bee have been consumate hosts. Though you will always have to arrgue with them about that. I love them both dearly for the fun and interesting times I have had over the past half week. Lot's of interesting people and food and great tlate nights at pubs.

A trip to the second biggest cathedral in England, Elie. WHile we were there the were practicing a requiem of sorts.
Byron and I climbed the tiny circular staircases up to the top of the cathedral octagon and listened to the gorgious soloists below. Elie is the site of the uprising that caused began the english civil war. so the Cathedral has been ground zero for a lot of senseless destruction. The Castholilc parts were destroyed by Henry VIII. Color was scarped off the walls. Stained glass was broken and statuary was broken.

Allister Cromwell destryed many of the Church of England parts of the church when he let the rebellion. It was quite a gorrgious town. Very windy. Very old and the music was cacauphonous.

After the pubs closed att 1 we went out for what was to be deemed the "closest thing to nachos we can do in Britiain at 11 AM. A Kabob house. We went in and ordered up the meaty and viggie options and watched some girl throw her purse at the windows of the business next door. Pub closing time is out fo control in Cambridge. A girl ran up behing me to touch my hat as we passed. A man walked up to Bee and I at the pub and asked "You two are personalities aren't you?" Today we cycled to The Ordhard at Grantchester. This is a famous tea house that is outdoors. Many famous folks are known to have hung out there including Virginia Woolfe and many others I will shorten the list here. There were beautiful rolling meadows and thatch roof huts. And old graveyeards.

On the way back we stopped at the student green next the the Mill pub. We drank Whiskey while surrounded by student joshing and making out. It was quite fun. The whole day was sunny and gorgious and there there were punters up and down the Granta and the Cam.

Tonight we celebrate Byron's birthday in Cambridge. Tomorrow in London where we might even meet up with my old Seattle friend Isabelle. Good times. I have so many picutres to show you guys, but am lacking in a good method to batch resize them. I will get them uploaded when I get back on Wednesday/thursday.

Heart,
Jeffrey