Issues

The end of heavy hearts...

After this last relationship, I was quite mad because I was looking for something from someone that was not there. I had trouble accepting the reality of the situation and having fun with that. And for the past month I have been quite bitter about love and relationships.

But within the last week I can feel my perspective lightening. I have been so overwhelmed with new crushes that my past is once again knowledge and experience and not weight. that being said...

My crushes range from romatic to pleutonic to symbolic this week. It might be so happy and overwhelming that you will want to puke into your sleeve, but I like these moments of confidence and positivity, they make my clothes and skin alike fit better.

Well, I got to hang out with a new fiend this week for three nights in a row and she was awesome, so big crushes on her. Welcome to the circle, Darlene! Vegetarian French Dips for all! tennis for the not so meeger!

Darlene introduced me to the keyboardist form the Black Angels. She was quite delightful. And she spun some fancy tracks at the Sugar Farm show post block party.

Old crush from a while back. Lucy. Ran into her in the VIP tent at Block Party. Grrr... I am still in wonder about this crush cause I am not sure she is my type. Don't tell my biology that. It does not care! But she is super nice and has the best fire red hair in town.

Mikey, The Civil engineer. she helped me make Nachos at 3 AM in the morning after the Solyoni CD release party. Bookishly cute and loves beans. (This last fact is much more important than I can explain at theis moment) As far as I know there are videos of this night somewhere on the internet.

Alison from the east coast. We are friends, but she is super cute and fiesty. She took me for a walk around Green Lake, which is really bad news for a fellow who gets crushes as much as I do! So much to be distracted by. Fuck!

I have a super big crush on Boursin right now. A French Cream cheese infused with Garlic and herbs. Honestly, if ever there was a reason to coat your arteries with deadly plaque and saturated fat, this is it. Let's work towards this heart attack together, darling!

I also have a super big crush on my friends Bee and Byron. I am so excited that they are going to be in town for a bit this month. Byron gives me the perfect advice to increase chaos in my life and Bee gives me the perfect advice to actually provides direction for this chaos which is as Byron says "never wrong" I wonder if that makes here the philosopher queen that socrates dreamed about... Able to make decisions about the "Good" for everyone. The combination for a Scorpio like me, intensity and direction, is like having the ability to fly or conjure fireballs or create an ecologicial car the emits Ice cream. Use for good. Incredibly poweful. dangerously productive, and downright adorable. Like some Japaname creature that is a cross bettweeen a panda, a bunny, a kitten and a platypus.

Ah and finally there wa a girl in a green shirt that caught my eye and smiled on the way into work between 6th and 5th on University today. Super cute. I deam this moment very crushworthy. I hope that once a day for the rest of this summer I can conjure a random smile from someone a s cute.

Issue 4

But that is all the past. Today is today. And becaus eit is a new day I have a new crush. Mostly I have been on a keen search for my mojo which has dissapeared somewhere between many sleeples night, some vodka tonics and a scotch or two. But today it began to return riding a silent surge in confidence. Consumer confidence? Maybe. I don't know. But the second i stepped oout of the building after work I saw the cutest girl and I looked her right in the eyes and smiled. She wore glasses and I blushed. What was I supposed to do she was adorable!

But tonight took the cake. I was practicing in my afro cuban jazz project called Heads Without meat( I play accordian and trumpet and get to sing some too!) And the other accordian or Cumbia player was so gorgious. She was an older latina woman(older than me. 35 or so) and to top it off when she played accordian I wanted to cry. I was introduced to her, but I was so taken aback by her that I forgot that someone was playing tuba in the room. (Which is one of my other crushes. tubas, that is) I talked a lot with her as her smoked and played accrodian. and I could not help it I was in love.To top that off she makes films and seems to be a hell of an intelligent woman. I never had a chance... But maybe I will see her again.

Thank you for inviting her James! and thanks for be o damn irresistable accordian lady!

I can die now.

Heart,
Jeffrey

more the past. Almost done...

Post Date: June 15, 2006Post Time: 4:04 pm
Mood:

Crush of the week

I am hopelessly desperately head over heels in love with my new and improved shower pressure. Steadily hot water and great pressure allow me to forget the pile of dishes I need to do for just an extra few minutes in the morning. And considering The shower is like my reset button. I look forward to it when notihing in the fucking world makes sense to me. When I am cranky like a child. When I am sure the next breath will bring me nothing but heartache and pain. The shower is there. Before it was fixed, My neighbor had fulkl control over my shower. And water would go form hot to cold without notice. Thus while I was singing opera in the shower,( which is something I always do) I would be forced to sing an octave higher when the watewr turned lava hot or ice cold. So Daniel the Welsh repairman, Thank you. I cannot tell you how much this mean to me. Now replace my fucking door, dude!

past...

Post Date: June 13, 2006Post Time: 11:38 am
Mood:

The evil eye...crush of the week...

OK so I sorta knew you we dating her at the time. I think I knew. At least when someone told me after I blatently hit on her, I remembered that you had been introduced to me at one point as a boyfriend type. Well big fucking oops. Anyways. A long while back I got this crush on a girl who was indipsosed with another fella. I should have known.sunday I was sittign at the last show of the festival and I ran into these two lovebirds. And I was confused why I had a crush in the first place, and Also I had to smirk cause the guy was giving me the evil eye the whole time. I wanted to take him aside and get hiom all worked up, but instead I toasted him. I was exhauted and was not in the moiod to deal with tthe simple and innocent mistakes of my past. Plus I heard he is an asshole from her friends. Truly not my best moment. And to top it off she wasa all excited to see me. I am such a scorpio. Damn it!I got my first full night of sleep in a week last night. Oh man, I kind of feel like I am in an alternate reality today. One governed by logic again.Last night as I went out for some late night grocery shopping, the power went out at the Broadway Market QFC. It was funny because they were taping up the freezer doors and Hiding the expensive meet away. It sort of felt like an apocolyptic atmosphere. I even saw a few disconcerted people sotcking up on water. I wonder if they know the power was only out at QFC? I am seriously crsuhing on the grey weather today. not to chilly. and it is the perfect weather to snuggle up in fornt of a fire or under a cover and watch a movie in. Maybe even make some soup.I am seriously adoring my bandmates as well now. We have been working hard on the album for a long time and they are serious troopers! I can't imagine making an album with anyone else right now!

past...

Post Date: May 28, 2006Post Time: 4:25 pm
Mood:

Reverb crushes of the week

Oh ladies and gentleman... my presence on reverb was completely the result of a crush. There was some interesting looing girl on myspace who had one of those "I moving on" to reverb signs. So I thought I would check it out. I signed up and within minutes I got some super friendly conversation on with a few other ladies on this site. Never even spoke to the first girl. So In honor of the super hot and cute girls from reverb I have met, I am writing a short and sweet history of my first meeting of these ladies. After a week of chating back and forth with Sam, Sarah and Sarah, i was invited to Sam's birthday party at the Whiskey. I showed up with my firend alex who had a lunchbox tied with a rope to his belt and an anatomical picute of the human hand foam core mounted in one hand and a Meyers Run and Coke in the other. I walked up to Sam and Sarah and Sam, nervously handed Sam the weird ass drawing andset down the glass of rum and said "Happy birthday". It was kind of weird for the first 30 minutes. or even an hour. Then I got a few in me and so did the ladies. We bagan chating. My first impression was this: Holy crap these girls are hot! I had had 1 really horrible experience with a blind date on the internet a year or two earlier1. As a result, I now had a rule that nothing was considered a date off the interent. I would only go out on casual fiendly meeitngs. And though nothing had been suggested that any of these ladies were interested, it was still a great chance to meet some new ladies... And on top of their inherent cuteness they all seemed super friendly once the warmed up, smart, and pretty damn kick ass. So I formed a friendly crush on the whole crew! and since then I have been out many many many fridays with them, and have not looked back. So to my good firends from reverb(which have expanded way beyond these first three ladies, I dedicate this crush of the week blog entry. You guys rock!
1 On my birthday at 29 I told myself I wanted only one thing. To make out with some random girl. I wanted to simplify things in my life and be a stupid high schooler for the evening. so There was this girl who wanted to take me out on a blind date form myspace. Being stupid about these things and with my goal in mind, I went for it. When she arrived, I unfortunately did not have feelings for her that way. and well, I drank a whole hell of a lot(including three shots with the bartender who could tell it was not going well) and we parted ways after some super uncomfortable conversation and a bunch of other shit that was way over the top. I pride myself for being a gentlemana and not running out the door screaming. I guess she could say the same. It was really a horrible situation.

the past..

Post Date: May 28, 2006Post Time: 2:23 am
Mood:

I win, DB, Crush of the week!

I am the only one online tonght. So byt default I win. t is me, Showtime at the Apollo and my clean sheets tonight.It all began with one of my oldest friedns Jarrid Owen Beasley called up. an hour later he was at my door. We were doing Jameson shots and rum and cokes as we waited out the heavy rain. The we wandered to the Rosebud where I found my first crush of the evening. The bartender. A superhot tall lady who served me two maker's/ How could I have not like this cutey, huh? After several convenient encounters(James and keith) we ran off to The Bus Stop following a random text message. There we found crush number 2 glasses wearing birthday girl who dawn the naughty librarian facade proudly! But other than tha tit was way to maney men at the gay bar. So we headed to Hot Mammas where we at the Pizza and found crush three. Some friend o f Jarrid who was super cute and adoraboe. further explanation upon request. I am drunk so descriptions sound like a lot of work right now. Finally we finisheed off with several maker's at Linda's. And te crsuhed really started getting blurry by thid point. And currently I am blurry drinking confsued at home drinking water. Super heart and love and hugs.jeffrey

stories from the past

Post Date: May 16, 2006Post Time: 10:01 am
Mood:

delerious blog crush of the week!!!

Yes this is me with a bunch of coffee in meeeee and 3 hours sleep. Last night I worked my bootay off designing print material for the festival. Almost all done and caught up. I have to stay ahead if I ever want to have a social life again. Anyways, Poster from my end are done. And they turned out pretty well thanks to a book on sound waves I found. It gave me many great ideas. Last night I gave myself an hour to see a dear friend who I have been sewriously neglecting.( I know, I know... that would be a lot of you irhgt now... Sorry) we went to the grand opening of s chic 70's bar on Summit opened by the people who own Top Pot. I talked with the owner and drank their special, the Mai Tai. Karala and I talked of wafty concepts of love, relocation and pragmatism. she is a Pisces, so I was working hard on getting her to approach love with some utilitarian concepts in mind. I think she got it, but I am not sure she will apply it. Stubborn, but acceptable. And this brings me to my crush of the week. Well really of my lifetime. I love stubborn strong willed women. Really, an argument can charm the pants off me. This has not always gotten me into the best situations, but, I do meet some interesting people and I am never bored because of it. From a 4 AM conversation a while back where I was arguing circumcision and relationships with Ramona over a crowd of drunk nacho eaters at my apartment, to enumerous conversation that have ended in "let's agree to disagree" stares. Keep it fiesty. Keep it intelligent. Keep it stubborn ladies! It is appreciated!

histroy

Post Date: May 8, 2006Post Time: 9:22 am
Mood:

Crush of the week...

She was 75 if she was 5. She ate Swedish pancakes next to me and started doing that silly old lady flirting thing. It was adorable. I found her cream for her coffee and then as if we were strangers again, she went on talking to her older friend abou tthe weather. Very sweet. I love old ladies. They make me smile. Not to mention the absolute cuteness that was occurring out on the dance floor. The whole Swedish pancake breakfast drenched in the syrupy sweet goodness of preserves and heavy whipping cream. Nummy. It has been a while since I have been to such a community event. Thanks for getting me out!

history

Post Date: May 7, 2006Post Time: 2:39 am
Mood:

DB Crush of the week...

It was like a crush of the week history lesson tonihgt for jeffrey. Accordian playing Sarah was at the benefit. said hello and disappeared into the brush again before anyone could snap a pitcure. I ran into another sam who I had a crush on a while ago at Freddy's while i was trying to find a late night newer sweater. and there was a third girl that I once had a major crush on in fremont. but I am drunk now and I cannot remember even who she is at this point. Got back to the hill tonight after an evening of Home Alive benefit where there was some pretty hot burlesque action and i spent some good cash on a good cause.On the hill I went o hang out with Ramon and David and there respective partners . We swilled expensive drinks and at mozorella stick until the kicked us out of charlies/ Fairly unevently. thought the egg room is calling right now. .. It would take a lot.

Jeffrey

histroy

Post Date: May 3, 2006Post Time: 12:18 pm
Mood:

Crush of the week

Stephen Colbert. Hands down, the sexiest man aliove for the correspondent's dinner speech. followed closely byt he waitsatff of chez Goudy. then shortly thereafter again by the satff of the bus stop. They are awesome people.

reverse history...

Post Date: May 1, 2006Post Time: 2:57 am
Mood:

DB-Crush of the week-Are we related....

This is the rpemier of my third column called "Are we related?" It is the column where I update on my latest family escapades/ I love my family very much. I have two brothers one 33 and one 36. both married with kids. My brother Clint is a teacher and my brother brian works for an Equal Exchange coffee distributor. Thus he is often encouraged to visit my neck of the woods with little notice. So tonight he showed up on my doorstep after a long meeting with the Noise for the Meeting Crew (We are one month away from the 6 day festival, don't cha know) anyways. We have had a long night we are drunk and we realize that is was 3 years ago tha m mom passed away. a few days before her June 2nd birthday. And this is the poem we think of. the poem that reminds of of the stubborn woman that fought the reality of what ravaged her body:Dylan ThomasDo Not Go Gentle Into That Good NightDo not go gentle into that good night,Old age should burn and rave at close of day;Rage, rage against the dying of the light.Though wise men at their end know dark is right,Because their words had forked no lightning theyDo not go gentle into that good night.Good men, the last wave by, crying how brightTheir frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,Rage, rage against the dying of the light.Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,Do not go gentle into that good night.Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sightBlind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,Rage, rage against the dying of the light.And you, my father, there on the sad height,Curse, bless me now with your fierce tears, I pray.Do not go gentle into that good night.Rage, rage against the dying of the light.We also talked about my brandparents who appeared only at the end of mom's life. They were severly religious and in my mom's confused and morphine dreched state, she went steadfast to Jesus. After a rather agnostic upbringing, this shocked us both. But in each of our own ends, we must delve deap into our ID. Farther down than anything we reveal to family or even maybe ourselves. This is where we find our hapiness as we pass. At least as I could see. And though my granparents brought religion deep into the house, I realized this. My mom did not necessarily care what God felt. She just wanted the approval of her parent. For the to whisper into her ear, 'We are proud of you you did a great job. Let go knowing the approval you always sought is yours'. it brings me piece knowing that a woman who had a hard deaqth found some hapiness at the end. Hapiness we could never give her.Deep enough. My brother and I agree on women usually. He has often dating the women I crush on 2-3 years after I fall in love with them. tonight at Karaoke ade sang Berlin's "Take My Breath away" And i was reminded of where I lost my slow song virginity. Int he basement of Ricky Kobyashi's farmhouse with Tracy Lopez. I fell in love with her and had my heart broken. such a pattern to start. 6 years later Brian dated her for a year. that was sort of messed up.
Crush two: brian and I agreed the blond short curvy girl at Hot Mamas pizza was bangining. thus once again proving these two scorpios think alike and are both boob men. So dam predectable, eh? Well grrrr... to all of my sexy-ass friends and those who are red-deaded and who will soon own a portrait of a cheetah butt, an ectra grrrrrrrr!
Heart,jeffrey

previous

Post Date: April 24, 2006Post Time: 12:25 am
Mood:

Crush of the Week...

Number One:Hydration.... It turns out that aI am a flesh bag that is mostly water. Amd when I do not drink enough eveyrthing stops working. Even blood stops flowing. So i will drink more. OK body? just stop fucking complaining!Hairstylist with mussed up red curly hair. We moved my friend together and you are super cute. It was nice making small talk and being coy. waas it impressive when I lifted the couch over my head? how about when I ate sandwiches? How about whne I carried the heavy box of magazines all by myself. Hey Hey Hey look at me. Grunt. Grunt. Snort. All manly and lifting strong!!! Yeah i wasn't that impressed either. Nice to crush you though. Keep making my friend's hair cute! Mullets Ahoy!A new paul smith SuitI pass you every day at David Lawrence downstown. And now I hear they are dropping you and your brnad for some hiper fashion. Well, fuck you David Lawrence. I like Paul Smith and i want one of those suite. i will just have to rob a bank and get one before you go down that sad road to Dulce and Gabana. Boring!Crushmaster J out.

further...

Post Date: April 21, 2006Post Time: 11:33 am
Mood:

Crush of the now...

You will have my heart for the next hour if you can delivery some strong hand to my neck and shoulders in the next 10 minutes. I swear my head wil esplode if this does not happen. Is this the end of Jeffrey? dah! duH! duh!

more history

Post Date: April 21, 2006Post Time: 10:55 am
Mood:

Crush of the week.

Orotne Roy.She is an East Indian author, and political activist. I have been listening to interviews and speeches she has given for a long time. And despite the fact the the east indian accent is one of the sexiest, and that she is a cutie herself, I am super in love with her intelligence. Her connections and interpretation of the way the world goes round make my knees all quivery. So Orotne, if you see this sometime soon, what are you doing say Saturday at 8 PM?Barbara Budd.At midnight on NPR the broadcast this show called As It Happens. It host two fo the most sarcastic women in new history. I fucking love it. And the main woman has a voice comparable to, say Kathleen turner, only slightly less sexy. I have never seen a picture of Barbara Budd, but she is gorgeous to me and I Hope someday to have her read me the news as I fall asleep. Grrr!In the vain of accents, the main voice and talking head for BBC. Crap I can not remember her name right now, but she is fucking hot. And she has the hottest English accent on the planet. So, I would ad her to the list of crushes.Girl I passed in the underground tunnel yesterday.Super cute long thick brown curly locks. Conservative work outfit, and fricking adorable. We met eyes for a second and smirked a bit. Yeah. That waa a nice start to the morning. She reminded me a lot of a girl I went on a couple fo dates with names Kate. Kate was a sweetheart and was overwhelming attractive to me. she was one of my first crushes after my 9 year relationship ended. And I thank her for the destraction.

history.

Post Date: April 19, 2006Post Time: 10:47 pm
Mood:

Crush of the Week.

I know this is quite often right now, but i have 30 years of crushes to catch up on. though that does no mean I will slow down when I have exfoliated. Sarah Pette. She always gave me ride to work in Olympia when we both work for the Evergreen State College Housing Dept. i was deep in a relationship at the time which had both good and bad moment. it was 5 years along and I was deeply in love.But every morning Srah would show up and make jokes irreverantly. Always dressed in Some one-armed punk rock shirt. She had the physique of olive oil and a black scenester haircut to match She had these cool messed up teeth and smoked like a chimney. And one morning I realized I was super deep in crush with her on the way to work. I got quiet and started blushing. And it took me a few days to calm my overactive heart down and accept that we were not to be. That timing was wrong. She kept me in stitches for the rest of our time working together. And eventually wnet on to sing really good Patssy Cline songs, Do Puppet shows and she got a masters in library sciences from the university of Chicago. Buboom buboom. I can hear my heart speeding up again thinking about the linbrarian thing. Geeze.

old

Post Date: April 19, 2006Post Time: 10:04 pm
Mood:

Crush of the Week

Bill and Joan Winden. i know this isn't as saucy as some of the crushes of the week, but these are my favorite people in the world. the sweetest old couplle i have ever met 72 and 74 years old. I can only hope that someday I gorw old with someone like these two have. When I go to the symphony with Joan, Bill always says "You be on your best behavior with my lady." It is the sweetest and most endeering thing. Recentlyl I took my friend out with this couple to Asteroid Cafe. not only was the food amazing, but bill charmed the pants off my friend. It was adorable to watch him flirt. their interactions are repetetive at this point, but the live in descent house of the edge of puget sound in olympia where she teaches voice and he paints watercolors. Is that gorgious or what. and their baby, a 3-year-old norwegian white lab. he is sweet as well and his name is Thor. The two are basically my surrogate granparents and I would do anything for them. *chorus of awwwss*

story

Post Date: April 19, 2006Post Time: 4:26 pm
Mood:

Crush of the hour...

Food Critics.

I worte this for Chrissie. She is a sweatheart.
A crush I acted on.

story

Post Date: April 19, 2006Post Time: 10:56 am
Mood:

Holy fuck Crush of the Week.

My first and true and only love in this world. Don't ask me to ever give her up or I will never talk to you again:Jaywalking. An art a rebellion and pretty much my expertise. I am a pedestrian extraordinaire and I enjoy making you and your car slow down for me when I cross at the wrong time in the wrong place. Don't come between me and my heart, Jaywalking.

History...

Post Date: April 19, 2006 Post Time: 12:48 am
Mood:

Crush of the Week...

Well this crushes come in three and sometimes they remind me of the past...My first ever crush: I have no recollection of the name of the move. Just the image of a short-haired woman in a cave with deep beautiful brown eyes. She was upset. And with every word that spilled form her mouth, I knew that we were meant to be together. she was in her mid twenties and I was 8, so it would be complicated. It took me weeks to get over the pining, the crying and the confusion I had about whay we could not go steady. We were in love right? And even if it were some actress in hollywood, maybe I should meet her and ask her to go stewady? When I told my friend this story, he was pretty sure it was a scene from Disney's bedknobs and broomsticks. I m not so sure. but I fear watching it again for the heartbreak would be too much.
Most people in high school or junior high are familiar with the concept of wet dreams. Well I have had my share of sex dreams, I tend to swing a little more romantic. For better or worse. ( PS Geraldo at large is a pathological wart on late night TV) I had these intense dreams about falling in love with some random person at school. And would wake up still feeling these phantom emotions. It was super depressing and much to much a relationship tease. This happened to me once my Freshman year with a girl who was not exactly someone I liked. I woke up after this romantic dream and found myself at the tail end of a love affair that never happened. With a firm memory of the vivid dream that was left tangled in reality. I spent the morning tryin to figure out how I would ask this girl who I didn't like to the next school dance. I walked arounf confused and flustered for the day and then snapped out of it and laughed it off.Those who are disturbed by nonsequential sexual dreams should stop reading now.Finally tonight on the way to Linda's(where the onyl person crush worthy was a waitress with a highly comperable tushy) I found myslef being passed by one of those extended hummers I suddenyl feel deep into fantasy... and well, how do I say this... was highly aroused. but when I looked down to the place below my belt I realized that where there once was tackle was now a large key. thsi would normally freak people out. and it should have freaked me out, but as the hummer passed I knew what I was me to do. I took one step forward and keyed the abonation with my new and improved tackle. Destryoing the sutome pain job at exactly crotch-level from bumper to bumper. I awoke form this daydream into another daydream where I had jumped on the bumper of the same hummerand was smacking the back window screaming "Who's your daddy?!" all the way down Denny. I then woke from the daydream where I was sipping whiskey by myself in Linda's watching my friends Cara and Nick dj. I was tired, and this tall adn cute waitress with a rather shapely ass was dancing in front of me while she cleaned the table. And I thought to myself 'Ah my crush'.Heart,Jeffrey

history...

Post Date: April 18, 2006Post Time: 10:27 am
Mood:

Crush of the Week. no.2 for this week

tonight I am crushing seriously on my long term couple friends. Sometimes I get very sarcastic about love and relationships. But seeing my friend Kate and Nick tonight and the comfort that flows between them made me happy. Plus some girl with the last name of fearson, pearson, Kirland or something like that. She was kind of adorable and I got to talk wiht her at a random biorthday party at the redwood for about 30 decond. Long enough to develop a fancy. I also really love a tofurky and swiss sandwich at 2:00 AM in the morning on a toasted garlic bagel from Seattle Bagel Bakery. Fucking so good. A major crush if I do say so myself.There is a girl who I always see from thr rebar who is super cute as well. But I have a rule crushes on bartenders have to be super super secret. so shhhh! She has a great nose amonst other body parts which I find pleasing to look at. And she seems to be good friends with many of my good friends. But here is the warning a bartender gave me once. The draw of a bartender is dangerous. People hire bartenders because they have a magnetic personailty. So they draw in the customers. Some with the pull of a black hole and the emotional availabililty of one as well. You may not come out alive or whole if you date them. These were the words from my firend Rodney. as I asked him about this girl and he said...um... no Jeffrey she will break your heart. Oh and back to the couples crushes again. I adore the awesome chubby Bear couple Garth and Tom C. Tom is a great DJ and those two seem to be adorable together. I got a soft spot for chubby guys, I consider myself the PR rep to the rest of the world. Publicist specializing in the chubby.

more history:

Post Date: April 16, 2006Post Time: 9:43 pm
Mood: Deep Red Lines.....

Crush of the Week...Easter Edition

Oh dear god. She was one of my earliest musical crushes, She stole my heart with every line. So I tell you now. There will never be another lady. my heart bleeds through the shirt for you for every ghostly vocal and song you deliver to the succeptable ears.

Neko Case...

You will always have my heartI know. I know. Friends have been telling me to check out the new album for a little while and I have been puting it off until now. And here I am her etherial voice wrapped around my heart promising heartbreak and delivering every time. Thank you, dear. Hold on hold on....

the Prequel

I have been running crush of the week for a long time. Mostly on another fiend like site called reverb1 ewhich you woul dhave to sign up to read. Anyways, Some of them were actually good so I am going to do some archiveing of those issues now.

Issue one:

Post Date: April 16, 2006Post Time: 2:43 am
Mood:

A New column..... Crush of the week.

Welcome to my new weekly which may happen once or more times per week. here is the deal. While my friend Bee and gabriel were in town I tried to explain to them the fact that I get a lot of crushes per week. maybe like 3. Actually a bunch more than that, but I try to limit it to three now because These are feeling that I often do not follow through on and eventually have to get over. And in that way it is better for me and all parties involved. Or at least that is what I tell myself so I can get over them quicker. But while I am in the grips of a crush, Light shine down from above my big heart opens up and let's this fancy in to the center of the universe. Well sometimes I get crushes on firends, sometimes on inanimate objects, moviestars, songwriters, and many other form of things. who am I to direct such a powerful force. I just follow its painful light to the next fancy. Currently my crush mode has been turned off for a bit. So until I go out tonight, I have no new crushes at this point. So I will review just a few you have missed in the past.Previous crushes....

• Rosalee the Mathematician
• My accordian
• The cadillac parked around the corner on Melrose.
• The greyhound that scurries around my neighborhood.
• Ramona the unavailable
• Jamie the bass player
• Jennifer the nurse
• Tracy the lawyer
• Girl who raps Eminem very well
• Katie the accordian player
• Michelle Rodriguez
• Christina Ricci before
  

Oh dear. This could go on for a bit... I will think about it and let you know as I recall.

:EDIT:.Well the week isn't over yet, right? And I warned you I had another night to go out. I got as crush on one of the cirls at a party I was at tonight. her name, Lilly. She danced well to the hip hop. Hats off!

Issue 4

Scorpios. damn it has come to my attention that a high percentage of my crushes lately have been over Scorpios. uh... damn. They are so alluring. I really need to pay less atention to the zodiac!

Issue 3

I had two points last week where someone I was looking at turn from a maybe to a "I want you". One was respectable, and the other, amybe not so much.I had met thsi girl many times begfore v=ia arties and event and such. And she had always been sort of forward to me. Like she like me in one way or the other. And For some reason I was on the fence about her. Sometimes I felt attracted to her and sometimes not. Well last week I ran into her at karoke. I believe her name is Laura. the pronoun feels kind of assholea tthe moment. She was somewhat attractive to me this evening. and Seemed to be friendly. then I heard her sing. And it was beautiful. It was amazing. Soulful with power and inprovizational technique. Let's just say she blew me away and I have high standards.

And instantly in that moment she was escalated into crush. Thisin my book was a talent-based escalation and is one of the noblest forms of crush, though often not super useful in the long term relationship.

On Thursday I was hanging out with some folks at the redwood, coincidentally, at one point Band of horses came on the TV playing their hit on David Letterman. I believe the own part of that bar. Eveyone went silent that then cheered at the end. It was exciting to see them do so well. And I actually like their music quite a bit.

Anyways we were talking with a very nice girl named jenny who I thought was interesting, but had not entered into the crush realm. We did a shot of Yeager. And now my interest was peaked

Issue Zed

I was going to write something more about crushes. But I am not in the mood anymore...

Issue Five-Niner

Well,

I have been at work today pondering two very different angle on crushes. but all of that thouhght was swallowed up in a project I have been working on. For my day job, I create exhibit boards for lawyers to use in court cases. Right now I am blowing up pictures of a woman with a black eye. It is a simple picture, but it tell so many stories that I am both enraged and in tears looking at it. Then there is the peace on this woman's face. Peace, calm, shame, anger but mostly just a deeep fushia/purple bruise and laceration accross her right eye. each broken vessel proof of a horrile night. Or was it a day. How long ago was it? Is the other person in jail now?Did she fight back? Was this the first time? Does she still love them? How much strength did it take to finally call the police? Am I creating this board in her defense? God, I hope so.

Jeffrey

Issue 2.11

I thought I understood love desire and all of that. I thought I could wrap this tiny mind around the complexities of sex and complex rhyming scemes. But last night I learned that I am but a child in a land of adults. Adults like R. Kelley. YOu know, R. Kelly. the "I believe I can fly" guy. Well at one point in the not to distant past wrote a hipopera titles " Trapped in the Closet" Last night I went to a staged reading of this theatrical feat. And well.... I have not laughed so hard in my life. R Kelly is three of the characters in this play. the narrator, The main man, and R. Kelly himself reading commentary about his own play(Which was the jewel in this crown of turds.)

This guy is getting together with a woman who has a huband who is having an affiar with nother man. The first guy then finds out his wife is having an affair with the cop who pulled him over on the way home.

the cop finds out his wife is having an affair with and incontenant midget named Big Man for the size fo this endowment.

If this play did not teach me everythign I need to know about life and love and cheating on people, then I do not know what will.

Later was the Pleasurecraft CD release. My firend invited a super awesome lady qwho is a scientist(grrr...) to the event. She was awesome and we talked for a bit and hung out. So there is definitely a crush forming there.

Plus the room was packed with retro goth scenesters. I adore this fashion for some reaosn. So I just absorbed all of the black white and red that dotted the audience.

Crush form the past.

She was the daughter of a client at our office. And was the most adorable thing I had seen in a while. She had exquisite taste and was starting a business selling pinup art patterned sheet in the 300 thread count range. She always brought me pirate pillow cases. Ah. the quickest way to my heart is through pirate accessories.

She used to come over for guitar lessons, but when she would come over we would just end up sitting around and drinking whiskey. The guitar lessons never really went anywhere. But it was a lot of fun and I was usually just happy to hang out with such a fiesty lady. So here is the SG! The older lady who will always have my fondness!

I am nursing a bit of a bruised ego as I learn how to deal with the concept of dating. The concept that you can get together with someone who is not the "one", have some fun and then move on to something else when the shelflife o that relationship ends. I am not sure if I am not wired that way or what. Anyways, let's just say that convincing yourself that you are adult enough to accept short term relationshipos for fun and sex, when you really can't is not fun. It is like riding a roller coaster where the bar isn't loose enough to let to fall out and die. Instyead You are stuck in the cart trhashing around in a way that you own weight is your enemy. YOur legs are all bruised up from the safety bar and instead of screaming fear, you scream in pain. It kind of feels like that. Let's just says for a man of man stature I have ridden a lot of roller coaster in pain. But I love them so I always come back.

Issue 1.73

I quoteth the late, great Samuel Ross ( he is neither late nor great. Well actually he is great, but he is very much alive and in Portland making music)

I asked him once how his love life was...(this is a question my Grandma always asked me when I call her)

His answer

"I am married to the hideous bitch-goddess that is Rock and Roll"

Ah. Brilliance...

Anways this sets up my Crsuh of the weekend. Or more appropriately, my crushes.

I was hiding out east with a band called Brent Amaker and the Rodeo. They are a brilliant country band that completely rocks my world. It was an infrono of ta wekkend that r3etaught me the ways of old rock N Roll ethics... Hard work, controlled substances. Pornography and swimming. Each night ending is a haze of frustrated confusion from a lack of coherency. But the overall picture is this wonderfull escape fromt he job I am ignoring right now to write this blog.

With this said... I have a serious new crush on Rock and Roll..

Ihn thsi theme there was someone I had never thought of having a crush on, but last nigth I saw her sing and now I am hooked. A super soulful voice and an ability to dance. Tres Chaud! And somehow at the end of karaoke I ended up with her number and a kiss on my head. In fact it was supposed to be a short night until I saw and heard her and I totally forgot what the fuck I was doing. THe drinks flowed and I kept walking over and hanging out with her. I wonder how her boyfriend felt about that? Well as far as I can tell he is wrong for her and I am at least a little more right! Really. It is a fact. Saturday night my freiend Shanny calle dme after recording and told me she was ahnging out awith a 6' tall volleyball player. I could nto resist the opportunity to at least meat thsi lady.

She was actually quite beautiful. And if she was already being worked on by some dude from New York whilest I made Nachos, then I might have at least asked her for a kiss since she was moving back to Eastern Washington. Thanks for the flirting Shanny. It wa a great end of the night.

And finally next to my work a new high end restaurant is going in. It opens today and it is called Purple.
98 employes and many of them are quite sexy ladies.

Sometimes I love the service industry...

Till then
Heart,
Jeffrey

ahhhh. ... the pain..

Being stood up is such sweet sorrow. On one hand someone you care about disssapoints you. Maybe they tap into a distant memory of a bad paren after a divorce. on theother hand wehn you go out thst night to forget. You stare at every thing with two legs and feel no guilt. Tonight. I had two amazing incidents with people that reaffirmed both my drunkeness and my love of humanity after someone I counte don stood me up and broke my heart. So this night's crush of the wek is aboutthem.

I was checking my messages and there was one that I haven't chekced in 100 days so it came back up. It was a guy who randomly dropped by my house and participated in a late night drink. His name was Josh and he left his silly punk rock denim jacket at my place.

I wrote down the number fromthe message and calle dhim out of the blue. I think it was actually at least 2000 days after the incident.

he answered.

Hey. Who is this.
jeffrey. I am friends with your friend Alex Rose.
Oh, hi.
i have your jacket still. I just came upon a veryold message and I wanted to make another attempt to reurn it to you.
Oh that is nice. But I moved to New Mexico.
Fuck!
Yeah I had to leave.
Hmmm. then I guess it is a little late...why did you leave?
My family is here and I needed to get away.
-could tell from his voice that he had broken up with his long term girlfriend and that she stayed in Seattle.-
Really I am sorry but glad for you. I am sure it is for the best right now.
I was drinking so much because my only friend was my ex and she was dating an asshole and woudl come ove a lot and cry on my shoulder about how mean he was. it was killing me.
Fuck that!
yeha It was drving me to drink myself to death.
Good reason.
So i went home I will be back in October. Can I call you when I get there? You know as a friend?
Josh, you ar enow my firend. You can call me fromNew Mexivco if you need to talk. We are bound by the story you just told me. My heart is broken for you.
Cool. Also will you mail me the jakcet.
Of course.

So that was areaffirming conversation with a person I have only met once or twice.

Secondly I bought a drink tonight for a girl who sat at the counter drinking and crying because she just broke up with her boyfriend. After a bit of mental debate. I walked over. Gave her a hug and told her that the next dirnk was on me. And that I wante dher to know thatWe out here in the rest of the world realize that she is in pain. And that she is not alone.

We can all use that recongnition sometimes.

on to the crushes.
I adore the whole staff of the bus stop to death!

i am weighing my crush options on a girl from Rhode Island. She is quite adorable.

James and I sat outside of Bauhaus today.
Fucking amazing. I counted no less then ten girls that walked by and made of stop talking. Holy shit!

You girl in the fashionable "V" stripe design. I love you and would have happily followed you up the hill like a puppy dog if there weren't these silly social policies to uphold. And well... I love you "V"s.

Also the girl outside Specialties yesterday who caused me to to do a real live actual double take. My friends could not stop laughing at me.

Sleep now. I will see you all in my dreams. PG of course.

Issue 1.3

Oh and I should explain now about my blogs. in case you have not read them before. I do not spell check and my grammar depending on the amount of whiskey I have indulged in, can get rather attrocious. Anyways, if you need to get on your literary high horse, copy my blog and edit it and put it in the comment field. See if I care.

The other thing for you to know is that I get many crushes per week. So prepare you self for my crush of the week to come many, many times. I am a Scorpio after all...

Issue 1

Oh boy. where to begin. First of all I must explain the history of this blog. My friend Bee demanded I start this blog because she thought it would be the one and only outlet for the overwhelming amount of interrest I seem to have in the opposite sex. And some might say it is simply hormones. Others might say I am simply horny. But these crushes are often slightly heartbreaking and seem to tap into a romantic sense of love that leaves this Scorpio deep in love for just a bit everyday. Tis began when I was a young lad. I saw Bedknobs and Broomsticks and fell deep in love with the star. I knever checked back into her name, but she had short dark hear and the most beautiful eyes I had ever seen.Recently I misplaced my mojo, along with some confidence which is essential in making this blog worthwhile in reading at all. Needless to say one of the crushes work out and is ambiguous enough that it has been like wading through the muck trying to interpret actions and activities.

Anyways. It is summe rin Seattle and this place is packed with absolutely gorgious people and things that daily remind me of the dominence of biology.

Oh and a tthis point I should deifne my terms a bit. there are two predominent forces in my world right now. intellect and Biology. One constantly provided the fodder for this blog(biology) and the other is working overtime to complicate simple idlke desires enough to keep me from hooking up with every crush I have. It often keeps me from making mistakes. It also keep me from making good decision. Fucking superego!

I only have one tiny entry today. Maybe two or maybe 4.

I have a crush on many of my friends who will never work out, but what the hell. This is a tell all, and I refuse to be secretive on these god damn pages! Shyness is nice, but Shyness can stop you form doing all the things in life you want to.( but not being shy enough might break up your band because you hit on your drummer and have an uncomfortable breakup. Just a suggestion More -issey)

1) Today: I ate acc5ross from the downtown library and I watched the most gorgious picture of literacy I have seen in a while. So you girl with the pink fitted hoodies and the knee length skirt. I almost thought you were cute enough reading you book to take my friends bet and go over and ask you out. Then we could have our first date at the library and you can teach me how to read. Cause I got really stupid when I saw you.

2) Unico Employee I ran into while wearing my "Floor Warden" armband. We ran down 4 flights of stairs together during a fire drill and chated the whole way down. I am glad that neither you or I burned up or died. But I am sad that the terror of the moment didn't push us to step out onne floor early and make out in an empty lobby. I think that would have been hot!

3) Women who can rap well. Not one but two hot Eminem covers at the Bus Stop Sunday night. Just put me down softly now!You had me at "Loose your self in the moment you own it...."

3.149) And... The band crush I have on the super sweet ladies from the band Pillows. They were super cute and intelligent and some of the nicer musicians I have et as of late.

4) The girl who me and my brother rescued on Timothy Lake. You had the seetest smile and I am sort of glad you decided to swim accross a windy lake after the floating green chair that got away from you. I have never had a chance to rescue a damsel in distress in the old fashioned way before. and though I am not old fashioned myself. It was fun to play the rol for the 15 minute boat ride back to your boyfriend who stood helpless on shore. HA!

5) Jumping off cliffs into lakes and intertubing behind a speedboat! This was a fabulous return to my childhood and taught me things I never knew about centrifugal force and inflatable devices.

6) Pirates.