I have had too many conversations this week about kissing. So I think it is high time to devote a COTW to that. Really. Hot wet-lipped reactionary making out that causes the skin on my neck and face to tingle and burn. The type of smooching that redirects time and hours later ends in the worst chapped lips you have ever had. Tender nibblable necks, wandering hands and the tastiest of earlobes. The desire to devour and the anticipation of things to come manifest in the form of a pouting lip to suck and bite. Breath gets heavier & my heart squeezes blood down arteries that could not open wide enough to supply these nerve endings with enough oxygen.

Happy happy fall fall

This is my time of year. My birthday is coming up and I love gray weather. Do not ask me why. So i sit here in my swimming trunks which I will have no use for outside my house for a bit, I watch Lost in Translation which seems to be the perfect movie equivelant of the weather amd I snuggle under my cover. Now to make some pea soup and put this celebration in high gear.

Oh hell yeah. I have a cruah on Scarlett Johanssen. Who doesn't. Maybe bill Murray a bit too.

Needle in a haystack....

I live on Sapitol Hill in Seattle Washington. It is a charming neighborhood filled with lots of aprtments a few streets of shopping and dining and some crazy amount of bars. these bars are fruequented by fashionable young ladies and gentlemen form the local music and art scene. People wholook and feel rebellious. But mostly by alcoholics with a lot of time on their hands on a dreadul search for meaning or connection. There are a lot fo people like this and we roam around pouring liquors in our belly the nukmb one thing or another. Or to give us the courage to ask that other person who is drinking out. It is an interesting ascene and I find particular joy in wandering in and out of it at leisure. I am a bit too old for the crowd. I do not know enough about new bands and I do not work a col job or whatnot. But what beats all is running into a new person every once and a while that keeps me completely intigues and interested in a conversation. Last night I met a new freidn Michael. And we bantered back and forth about the changin, growing northwest city we lived in. We chatted about the death of our neighborhood. The replacement of dive bars with themed and expensive Belletown-esque alternatives. Belltown. Is another neighborhood in Cap Hill that used to be run down and filled with interesting little bohemian dives. They are down to 2 maybe 3 now and they have moved in a massive pile of upwardly mobile people who make a lot of money for their age. I see not problem with these people I guess. They are just on a different path than me. I digress. As this city grows, the demand for condos grows anfd the demand for quite cute neighborhoods with little or no personality grows. Thus artistic freaks like myself and Michael loose the quirks of our neighborhood and it becomes a good place to raise kids. "So where do we move?" we asked each other. Georgetown is always touted as an interesting commmunity, but the cancer cluster down there around the industril-waste drenched soil and the airport does nto bode well. Plus the rents down there are already pretty darn expensive. West Seattle is brgioning now, but it is not really my community. I might be singing a different tune in a year. but not yet. If you live in the area and have some suggestions on places for me to move let me know. If I can't think iof anything then I will just move to chicago, New York or Montreal. Iceland is always an option too!

Anyways. I adore running into intereting people. So that was a good night. And I ran into 4 people form my high school wandering up the street drunk at 2 AM. I had not seen these people in 13 years+ so it was strange. And one of them currently has his taxes done by my dad. just weird. They looked like Belltown people. so it eggggxacerbated the belief in the problems of the hill.

Oh on that note...

There were 3 hot ladies tonight wearing the most amazing Overcoats at the bus stop. YOu know who you are. and Work it, girls!

derailed.

This blog had mone mission when it began. It was simply for me to learn how to express all of the past and present unrepresented crushes I have. yes. I admit there are a lot fo them. And they are innumerous. I really would have horrible arthritis if I wrote about each and every one I have. Butlately I have been half heartedly pursuing the unavailable situation and not wirting about anything. The whole reason to write in the first place was to get better at expressing these feeling and attractions in real life. To take some chances and ask some of these crushes out. ButNow it seems that it is not that easy. not that easy at all. There are all of these timing issues. then there are the ones who aresingle and unavailable. It is all kind of wearing me down. So i might need a break form the pursuit. Thus you will probably find me writng more blogs. hung out with ruth and Mark and Laura tonight. Sweet people. Fabulous karaoke stars each one of them. I have had a crush on ruth for a long time. yes she is gorgious and has some of the most entrancing pouty full lips you might see, but she it also a fabulkous rapper. And ythat it what gets me in trouble. Here is where it turns into a high school drama. At the bar we hang out at, there is a bouncer who has a crush on her as well. I have athics about this situation. She shows some interest in hanging out and fooling around with him. So I stay away. But it is hard to do so. biology and intellect. This is where i get mad at my parents for getting divorced when I turned 13. My dad left the house and just when I could have used some guidance on acting on attaction for doing what I want for me, he left and pissed me off. As a result I promised to never be "that guy" that he had become in my eyes. But it turns out obys and girls are all that guy. And being able to express and act on what you want or desire is not only hot to the other person, but it clarifies situations. Plus the few people I have been direct and honest with have usually recipricated. But I have lost my way and now I am back to pining and crsuhes. Thus I issue this proclamation. Next girl i have a crsuh on, I will just tell her and ask her out. I am too old for this shit, really.

Amd I expect me to hold myself to that. And i expect my good friends to hold me to it as well.

my new motto... "grrrrr......" As my silly cowroker, Nestor, tells me at work... "You are a tiger, yeffrie. A white tiger...."

(Thsi is where on might insert some frankie stallone. but in my case, I would insert some Nina Simone.)

Love,
Jeffrey

Not so obvious...

Despite the fact that when I reread these little pining session that they seem to be repetetive, they are not. Each is for a destictive and different girl. Is that weird or what. Must be a stage I am going through. Self imposed unrequited love. Sillly silly silly. Forgetfula nd quickly passing fancy. The death of a crush. And the death of sobriety.

Romeo and Juliet advice...

"Not now..." that is what i was told by her good friend. "Not at all..." is what my dearest say. And I am trying to be good. No, I am good. I am too damn good. I am better at denying situations from happening then I am at letting them happen naturally. But considering lots of people i adore and in return, people who love me to death, tell me no, then I will let it go.

Last night I was at a country show and I realized that for the most part, that I adore rockabilly style and rockabilly girls. It made me want to tattoo up my neck and buy a harlyey. So adorable and curvey I get confused.

Dating is masochistic. I love that in some ways.

Heart,
Jeffrey