derailed.

This blog had mone mission when it began. It was simply for me to learn how to express all of the past and present unrepresented crushes I have. yes. I admit there are a lot fo them. And they are innumerous. I really would have horrible arthritis if I wrote about each and every one I have. Butlately I have been half heartedly pursuing the unavailable situation and not wirting about anything. The whole reason to write in the first place was to get better at expressing these feeling and attractions in real life. To take some chances and ask some of these crushes out. ButNow it seems that it is not that easy. not that easy at all. There are all of these timing issues. then there are the ones who aresingle and unavailable. It is all kind of wearing me down. So i might need a break form the pursuit. Thus you will probably find me writng more blogs. hung out with ruth and Mark and Laura tonight. Sweet people. Fabulous karaoke stars each one of them. I have had a crush on ruth for a long time. yes she is gorgious and has some of the most entrancing pouty full lips you might see, but she it also a fabulkous rapper. And ythat it what gets me in trouble. Here is where it turns into a high school drama. At the bar we hang out at, there is a bouncer who has a crush on her as well. I have athics about this situation. She shows some interest in hanging out and fooling around with him. So I stay away. But it is hard to do so. biology and intellect. This is where i get mad at my parents for getting divorced when I turned 13. My dad left the house and just when I could have used some guidance on acting on attaction for doing what I want for me, he left and pissed me off. As a result I promised to never be "that guy" that he had become in my eyes. But it turns out obys and girls are all that guy. And being able to express and act on what you want or desire is not only hot to the other person, but it clarifies situations. Plus the few people I have been direct and honest with have usually recipricated. But I have lost my way and now I am back to pining and crsuhes. Thus I issue this proclamation. Next girl i have a crsuh on, I will just tell her and ask her out. I am too old for this shit, really.

Amd I expect me to hold myself to that. And i expect my good friends to hold me to it as well.

my new motto... "grrrrr......" As my silly cowroker, Nestor, tells me at work... "You are a tiger, yeffrie. A white tiger...."

(Thsi is where on might insert some frankie stallone. but in my case, I would insert some Nina Simone.)

Love,
Jeffrey