I shouldn't

bee told me not to. And I am trying to be a good boy. Butr people who I should not hook up with keep seeking me out. We connect. But I am not that guy. i will never be that guy. Even people confide in me how they are unhappy with their relationship. People who I am interesyted ion. it is really not fair. But I am used to this sort of situation. I seek that crap out. i am always good and just lend an ear when then need it. But one of these times i am gonna crack and spill the beans. something like "Really I am completely interested in you as more than a friend so I can not be privy to this information. Please direct your confession to another friend who is not attracted to you. so that was an honest and drunk rant. HONEST AND DRUNK DAMMIT! I get caught in these situations and amongt these amazing and awesome people who are not available. And I even usually like the person they are with. And I feel horrible. I recognize my role and I back off. but sometimes it is not so easy. And sometimes these people seek me back out. Dammit!. I could turn off my phone. i could avoid contact. i am weak. Weak but not weak at all.

Saw an amazing play yesterday. Sould of a Whore. I recommend. Death penatly texas. Religion. Sex. Demans Healing. And money. It was quiest brilliant.

I recorded my drummer's asnniversary song he worte for this wife. If was adorbale. and it reaffirmed love for me while depressing me. For nine years I lived with someone and Every year on her birthday i worte her a song. Now I do not have the songs to deicate and he does. that is just a bit beautiful and sad to me at once.

Mid day before reconding I enter a mini mart. This youbg lady with dyed hair cracked the biggest smile and chats me up. She is totally happy despite meing trapped in a mini mart. We talk about the weather and a souvcple other social niceities and I realize this. Life is good. I have amazing friend and a focus for my passion. Can I really ask for more. Yes and no. But right now. No.

Heart,
jEFFREY WITH A NEW DENIM COWBOY HAT!